My Fancy's a Pain in My Arse
by TheShinobiCurlzz17
Summary: A little harmless rumour makes Hermione Granger want revenge. And revenge she gets when she starts a full blown prank war! Who will come out the victor and who will pay the price? And when did love decide to come into this? Also who knew the one way to make a boy jelous was to tease him until he gives up? Trailer on youtube at: /watch?v 0wuCel2Nj1w
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hiya people I'm back! This has been in my head for some while and with school work I haven't managed to get anything down so here it is! I apologise if it's a bit OOC. Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter :'(**

"HERMIONE GRANGER!" Mrs Weasley called up the Burrow stairs. Everyone in the house flinched and wondered what the goody-two-shoes bookwork could have done to upset Mrs Weasley.

Hermione walked the stairs clad in blue jeans a white blouse and multi-coloured socks. She looked at Mrs Weasley in confusion and worry. The people in the room consisted of Fred, George, Ginny, Ron, Mr Weasley, Mrs Weasley and Harry. Fred and George just sat there stunned that it wasn't them their mother was yelling at.

"Care to explain what this is?" Mrs Weasley lifted her spoon from the boiling pot and pulled out a bridal magazine and a veil.

"Is there something you'd like to tell us?" Mr Weasley asked calmly.

"I don't mean to be rude but what makes you think it was me that placed them in there?" Hermione stood her ground and the elderly Weasley stood stark still in thought.

"You are the only one with a boyfriend 'Mione." Ron stated gloomily. Now it was Hermione's turn to stand stark still. She looked dumbfounded to say the least.

"I do not have a boyfriend…. And I most certainly do not have a fiancé." She crossed her arms and every single person swivled around towards the twins. Hermione turned slowly and glared at the identical gingers. They gulped comically and rose slowly out of their seats and after, what seemed like an eternity but was really only ten seconds, they legged it up the stairs and slammed their bedroom door.

Harry then faced Hermione who was glaring at the seats the twins were just in. She was shaking with fury that the boys had made up some stupid rumour about her!

"I know a way we can get them back!" Ginny Exclaimed. Hermione smirked slightly. After spending so much time with the Weasley clan she has loosened up a lot and is starting to act slightly like the twins it was scary. She was like a mini Fred and George with a Percy shell.

"Do tell Ginny." Harry said curiously. Mrs and Mr Weasley decided to leave the children with their scheming and left nervously.

"Hermione has to make up a rumour about the boys and if I know my brothers, and I think I do, then they will retaliate and that's when we get dad to call a prank war. We can pick people for each side. And before anyone asks it will only end until everyone on one side has given up. How does that sound?"

Everyone except for Hermione nodded. They looked in her direction and saw a small smirk form on lips at the thought of getting those two back.

She straightened up and looked at everyone with a glint of mischief in her eyes. "I definitely agree Ginny, I will start concocting a plan for us to discuss tonight. See you then." With that she apperated from the Burrow kitchen.

"Mad that one," Ron shook his head, "you do realise we're going to be the ones cleaning up the mess when Hermione gets hurt right?" Ginny smacked him over the head.

"What makes you think that it will be Hermione that gets hurt?" Harry asked.

"Because… she's not prepared to find out what she will if she goes through with this."

"And what, pray tell, is that Ron?" Ginny asked tilting her head to the side.

"You'll know when it comes up." With that he left just like Hermione. Harry looked at Ginny worried and she just looked plain confused.

"We're screwed aren't we?" Came an unexpected voice from the doorway. Hermione stood there leaning against the door frame as casual as possible. Ginny looked shocked and Harry placed his head roughly in his hands. Hermione chuckled at her friends and handed a stunned Ginny a piece of parchment. She then patted Harry's bowed head and walked into the living room and started reading.

"This is going to be a hell of a year."

"What makes you think it will be a year!" Ginny asked shocked at how long her boyfriend expects this to go on for.

"Oh no, that's the minimum Gin, I expect it to go on for a long time."

"Merlin help us." Ginny groaned as she glanced into the living room and collapsed in a chair.

"Gin we are definitely going to need more than Merlin when it comes to Hermione and the twins."

Everything went silent except for Ginny's groan and a faint chuckle coming from Hermione in her friend expense.

"Hey Gin! What can possibly go wrong?" Hermione called from the living room.

**A/N: Hiya! I hope to get ten reviews I will update quicker if so. Hope you liked it! xx**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I am extremely sorry for the long wait. School exams have been tougher than I thought! Anyway here's the next chapter, hope you enjoy!**

The next morning Fred and George awoke to the sound of laughter. Confused, as to how everyone could be laughing so hard and it wasn't caused by them, they trudged downstairs into an extremely loud kitchen. They all looked at the sea of red and two dots of black and brown.

"Fred! George! I didn't know you both had boyfriends!" Mrs Weasley exclaimed happily. Both boys looked dumb struck and they turned to face a reading Hermione. Fred growled and George stalked around her chair, planning on scaring her.

He was getting ready to pounce but, "I wouldn't do that if I were you." George, not expecting the outburst, fell to the floor in shock. Said outburst came from the brunette in front of him. She twisted in her seat to see him and she smiled sweetly down at him. He sarcastically smiled at her and she mockingly pouted.

He could tell she was trying to hide her smile as he huffed and stood up. Everyone around them turned quiet as Fred and George glared at Hermione with pure hatred. Now it was George's turn to growl. Ron went behind Hermione and she smiled up at him. The Weasley twins growled and tried to launch themselves at their younger brother. His eyes nearly popped out of their sockets as they managed to tip Hermione over in process and both landed on top of her.

The breath was knocked out of her and she managed to shove George off but Fred wouldn't budge. She screeched in frustration and kneed him in the crown jewels. He doubled over in pain and the boys all groaned in pity for him. He glared at her through his pain and she bent down and kissed his cheek. She flounced off up into her room with Ginny, Harry and Ron trailing after her.

Everyone left in the room (Mr/Mrs Weasley, Fred/George, Percy, Bill, and Charlie) looked at George for an explanation on Hermione's trouble maker attitude. He shrugged stiffly and helped his twin up. Fred glared at the door and started towards it when Bill called him back. He turned and stared at his brother impatiently.

"Is it you that's going to propose to… um…. Darren, was it?" Fred growled and stomped out the kitchen and up to Hermione and Ginny's room. He pounded on the door and George was right behind him. Harry opened the door and nodded in acknowledgement and let them in.

The moment they walked into the room they saw Ginny and Ron talking in hushed voices and Hermione smirking at them from her bed.

"Can we have a word with Hermione please?" George asked through gritted teeth. They nodded and the bookworm's smirk grew. Harry gave her one last wink and she winked back.

"Okay Granger, explain," Fred hissed. She smirked and shrugged.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she tried to stifle her laughter at the boy's faces. Fred grabbed the front of her jean jacket and she squeaked. She looked scared as he pulled her face closer to his. She glanced at George and he looked at her calmly.

"Fred, let go of me," she said as calmly as she could. Both twins looked shocked. They still hadn't remembered she could tell them both apart with just a quick glance. She gulped when his face grew closer and closer. All three of them didn't realise the door cracked open and the 8 faces watching the scene.

"You told our family we had boyfriends, well I'm going to prove I'm not gay." With that he crashed his lips to hers forcefully. She sat there with wide eyes, not responding. He pulled away from her and she stood up; nearly knocking him over in the process.

She raised her fist and Fred started to panic. Harry, being the saviour, decided to intervene and he grabbed Hermione's raised wrist carefully and replaced it back to her side. She glared at the twins and stomped out of the room, passing everyone on her way out.

"Well, I know I'm going to regret saying this but…" Mr Weasley started, "this is officially a prank war." Everyone except Fred and George groaned. They high-fived each other and skipped out of the room into theirs. Ginny and Harry smiled broadly and started to talk to their family members, trying to recruit who they could.

Hermione sat on her bed cursing under her breath at every idea she came up with. 'Be ready twins, you're both going to pay.'


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hiya, told you it would be quicker. Hope you enjoy this next chapter! Also in the comments if you want to see a particular prank, just put it in the comment. Thanks! Xx**

Fred and George sniggered as they crept into a dark room. The window was open and the silken curtains were billowing. George stayed near the door as lookout and Fred tip-toed over to the single bed nearest the door. He carefully shook the can in his hand.

They had decided to use both muggle and wizard pranks. The can Fred was holding was can of extra sticky cheese. George glanced at the bed Fred was about to get and as Fred sprayed the bed George cried out. A ginger head shot up and she rubbed her hair.

In the bed next to her a brunette head shot up and grabbed their wand. Fred held his hands up in surrender.

"FRED!" Ginny screamed. George shut the door and shushed his sister. Hermione stood up and held her wand at Fred and Georges eye level, which, because of her huge growth spurt made her head up to their eyes.

"If you don't move, it won't detect you," Fred whispered as he smirked at Hermione. As her eyes adjusted she could see the smirk on the Weasley twin's face and she aimed her wand at just him.

"I think you moved Freddy," George sniggered. She soundlessly turned George's hair green and Fred's silver. Ginny got up and switched on the light. Hermione didn't move a muscle and stared down the twins. They felt uncomfortable under her gaze and smiled in triumph at this new information.

They turned and started to walk out the door but Hermione stopped them with a cough. They turned back to her with pleading eyes and she smirked. They groaned and turned back to the witch.

"So, who exactly were you going to spray that cheese on?" Ginny asked and Hermione looked at her.

"Hermione," both twins said quietly. Hermione glared and swished her wand and both boys were levitated into the air.

"HERMIONE! PUT-"

"US-"

"DOWN!" footsteps were heard and Harry, Mr and Mrs Weasley, Bill and Charlie cam bursting into the room with their wands drawn.

They all visibly relaxed when they saw Hermione levitating the twins. She smiled at all of them and Harry smiled back. Ginny squealed and hugged Bill and Charlie and Hermione said her greetings.

Fred didn't miss the bigger smile when she greeted Bill. He winked playfully at her and she blushed. She turned her attention back to Fred and George and looked at George's pleading face and Fred's furious one.

"What's wrong with you Freddy?" She asked mock sweetly. He glared at her and, if looks could kill, she'd be six feet under. She looked at him confused and an emotion, regret by the looks of it, flashed across his face.

As Bill spoke up his face went back to anger and Hermione's turned into realisation.

"'Mione can you please put my brothers down until the morning because it's 2:15 in the morning and I'm sure all of us, including you, would like to get some sleep." She smiled and nodded her head. They turned to the floating twins to see their reaction and found George asleep and Fred glaring at the floor.

"Fred, if you would like to stay up there I can arrange that," Mrs Weasley said sternly. He shook his head and sneered.

Hermione put both boys down carefully as not to wake up George and Charlie carried the sleeping Weasley to his room. Fred stood and brushed his pyjama trousers. He glared at Hermione then at Bill and stormed out of the room.

Everyone said their goodnights and Harry looked worriedly and Hermione's confused face. He hugged her to him tightly and kissed her cheek. He kissed Ginny on the lips and left. Ginny patted Hermione on the shoulder and climbed into bed. Hermione followed suit and stared at the ceiling for another two hours.

"Bloody boys are going to kill me," she whispered to herself and turned to stare out the window. It was going to be a long night.

Fred glanced at the door for the twentieth time in five minutes. He then continued to glare at his ceiling. He didn't want Hermione fancying Bill. I mean he is happy Bill likes someone but not when it was _Fred's Girl- _Wait, when did she become his girl?

"_**When you started fancying her in your fourth year," **_A voice in the back of his head said. He told the voice to piss off and tried to get some sleep.

That didn't really help him because he kept replaying his made up version of Bill and Hermione snogging. He growled in his sleep in frustration. What was he going to do about this Bill and Hermione problem?

**A/N: Hiya! Hope you liked this new chapter! A bit more into Fred's feelings. Review please! Cause I know you are all amazing! :D**


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